Big Tits Zombies

Posted: January 9, 2011 in final folio, Reviews

Big Titted Zombies was my first foray into the world of East Asian Cinema and a shaky unsure foray it turned out to be. Advertised as a comedy horror shot in 3D never have I been more deceived by advertising agencies.

How the director thought his movie constituted either horror or comedy I don’t think I will ever know and if the 3D of this film is anything to go by Japan is about 20 years behind the rest of the world with this so called ‘3D.’

Clearly the director was a fan of Kill Bill as his leading lady swung a bloody chainsaw round in a wide arc decapitating and severing through zombie mannequins that looked nothing like real live actors, that was almost stolen straight from the Uma Thurman film.

The above description of one scene can even be taken to describe the film in its entirety. The film focuses on a group of 4 ‘dancers’ working in a run down gentlemen’s club in a town on the edge of collapse and poverty. After discovering a secret door in said club the group of women head into the bowls of the building and find a horror set like you could find in a cheap horror house in a low rent fair ground. Green lit smoke withered around the ground and one of the women found a large book that could supposedly bring back the dead. Inexplicably the same women then set about reading the book and bringing the recently deceased back to a shambling rotting existence.

Predictable chaos ensues with numerous zombies having heads fly though the air Z-list film effects shooting tomato ketchup blood high into the air that harks straight to the fountains of blood in Kill Bill. Two of the ‘dancing’ group meet an inevitable gruesome end while the remaining duo reach a mediocre conclusion as the spell is re-done and the world reverted to normal.

Now as the name suggests much of the so called ‘humour’ in this movie comes from the actresses losing their bikini tops over and over again with a strange pinging noise.
Their acting is terrible but can be understood when you discover that they are all involved in the Japanese adult film industry. They are not actresses and this is not a film. It is a mix between a strange mans perverted idea of comedy and the poor acting of his mindless cast.

As a first look at East Asian Film this is a daunting prospect for what awaits me. A poor excuse for a film and a poor title for the CV of both cast and crew.

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